My life till date has been pretty normal and mostly happy! Anti-jinx to that. No extreme lows, some highs and a lot of simple days with neither. But everyone has some angst at some point in time and mine was my looks. Or lack of it if I may say so. It is never easy being an average looking teenager. Dark, thick glasses, no sharp features and a big boned structure maketh not a traditional beauty.
Yes, one always knew about Inner Beauty and Personality, but these words made no sense when you did not get no boyfriend in college or even have boys noticing you. It was difficult not to feel bad sometimes about lack of roses on the dratted rose day or knowing there was precious little you could do about the image in the mirror.
The parents were ever supportive. Always talking about the innate intelligence and the street smartness that not many girls had. The fact that one was a social being and knew how to have a conversation with everyone. That one had good manners and kind heart. But that did not make the one I had crush on look at me. He still did prefer the obviously pretty.
The angst of an average looking girl is only what she can understand, deal with and get out of. There are no popular books and movies that talk about the Plain Jane. If they do, it is in the tone of how ugly duckling turned into a swan. The girls always become prettier and sexier, get rid of the glasses and the plumpness and get themselves the man. Which is why i LOVE this movie called Thodasa Roomani Ho Jaaye with all my heart.
It captures the life of a young woman who is not beautiful by any conventional standards. She can cook up a storm and repair cars. She is not scared of getting dirty, but cannot get herself to preen and look pretty. She obviously is not getting married because she just does not have what it takes. Then comes along the Rainmaker - Baarishkar who tells her to look within. Tells her that there are no bad looking woman. Then follows the gorgeous song "Main sundar hoon" - the realization that she is special too.
It is not just about her, but how he brings out hope and longings of each of the family members. The way he reads them, the way he helps them bring out their best, face their fears, accept what is good in them and believe that they can succeed. The movie is sheer poetry. Every dialogue will make you ponder, smile, tear up or do all of the above. With top class performances by Nana Patekar and Anita Kanwar, this movie is a treat that one just should not miss. The father in the movie is one who adores his daughter, sees the best in her and cannot understand why other people cannot see how special she is. I am yet to see a subtler and a more awesome portrayal of a father.
As I watched the movie again today, I still got transported to the time when I wanted to beautiful, when I identified with Binni's character and thought that with her I had discovered my beauty as well. For the longest time, i dressed in checked shirts and pants behaving like a tomboy! :p While it takes a lot of influence me, I think this movie really made me challenge the way I looked at myself and the world and it is still the best "pick me up" for me.
There is no DVD of the movie, but you can find VCD online. And the whole movie is available on YouTube as well. If you have not watched it, make sure you do.
If I could talk to my teenage self, I would tell me to just relax and while it would be great to be a stunner, you really wont do badly for yourself and your happiness will always shine through! :)
Here is the video of Nana Patekar reciting the dialogue in some interview. Amazing is an understatement!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVLH5HnNmbs
Here's another lovely article someone shared with me on facebook. It is good to know you are not the only idiot! ;)
http://www.divinecaroline.com/24133/96491-never-ugly
And here are some lines from one of my favouritest songs from the movie!
rasta akela ho
har tarf andhera ho
raat bhi ho ghaath ki
din bhi lut raah hoAao tum aur hum dard ko basuri banaye
Yehi to hai mausam
Aao tum aur hum
Thodasa roomani ho aye
Mushkil hai jeena umeed ke bina
Thode se sapna sajayae
Thodasa roomani ho jaye
Yes, one always knew about Inner Beauty and Personality, but these words made no sense when you did not get no boyfriend in college or even have boys noticing you. It was difficult not to feel bad sometimes about lack of roses on the dratted rose day or knowing there was precious little you could do about the image in the mirror.
The parents were ever supportive. Always talking about the innate intelligence and the street smartness that not many girls had. The fact that one was a social being and knew how to have a conversation with everyone. That one had good manners and kind heart. But that did not make the one I had crush on look at me. He still did prefer the obviously pretty.
The angst of an average looking girl is only what she can understand, deal with and get out of. There are no popular books and movies that talk about the Plain Jane. If they do, it is in the tone of how ugly duckling turned into a swan. The girls always become prettier and sexier, get rid of the glasses and the plumpness and get themselves the man. Which is why i LOVE this movie called Thodasa Roomani Ho Jaaye with all my heart.
It captures the life of a young woman who is not beautiful by any conventional standards. She can cook up a storm and repair cars. She is not scared of getting dirty, but cannot get herself to preen and look pretty. She obviously is not getting married because she just does not have what it takes. Then comes along the Rainmaker - Baarishkar who tells her to look within. Tells her that there are no bad looking woman. Then follows the gorgeous song "Main sundar hoon" - the realization that she is special too.
It is not just about her, but how he brings out hope and longings of each of the family members. The way he reads them, the way he helps them bring out their best, face their fears, accept what is good in them and believe that they can succeed. The movie is sheer poetry. Every dialogue will make you ponder, smile, tear up or do all of the above. With top class performances by Nana Patekar and Anita Kanwar, this movie is a treat that one just should not miss. The father in the movie is one who adores his daughter, sees the best in her and cannot understand why other people cannot see how special she is. I am yet to see a subtler and a more awesome portrayal of a father.
As I watched the movie again today, I still got transported to the time when I wanted to beautiful, when I identified with Binni's character and thought that with her I had discovered my beauty as well. For the longest time, i dressed in checked shirts and pants behaving like a tomboy! :p While it takes a lot of influence me, I think this movie really made me challenge the way I looked at myself and the world and it is still the best "pick me up" for me.
There is no DVD of the movie, but you can find VCD online. And the whole movie is available on YouTube as well. If you have not watched it, make sure you do.
If I could talk to my teenage self, I would tell me to just relax and while it would be great to be a stunner, you really wont do badly for yourself and your happiness will always shine through! :)
Here is the video of Nana Patekar reciting the dialogue in some interview. Amazing is an understatement!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVLH5HnNmbs
Here's another lovely article someone shared with me on facebook. It is good to know you are not the only idiot! ;)
http://www.divinecaroline.com/24133/96491-never-ugly
And here are some lines from one of my favouritest songs from the movie!
rasta akela ho
har tarf andhera ho
raat bhi ho ghaath ki
din bhi lut raah hoAao tum aur hum dard ko basuri banaye
Yehi to hai mausam
Aao tum aur hum
Thodasa roomani ho aye
Mushkil hai jeena umeed ke bina
Thode se sapna sajayae
Thodasa roomani ho jaye
PS: This is no fishing post asking you folks to tell me that I am indeed beautiful or how gorgeous my smile is! :) I now know my beauty and the lack of some of it mostly does not matter! Cheers!
20 comments:
as much as i loved the post i loved ur Ps too!!
very well written. Enough said!! muahhaaa
No one who knows you even slightly would imagine you writing a post that fishes, so that PS was a waste of time :)
What i will say anyway, is that you are very attractive. Definitions of beauty tend to be narrow and yet, how can one define them when to each person they are something else? So if I call you beautiful or gorgeous, its because to me, you are. I've always found your smile infectious, your curls enviable and your features even in a way mine will never be. And I hope you will believe me.
I havent even heard of this movie *Note to self - bug RD to get this on youtube*
Thanks for the reco
I loved your post...its very..well..its very...well..you know perfect :)
Oh abha, lovely post! beauty is so much more than that perfect cheekbone or slim waist, which i know you know.
would you believe me if i tell you that i went through the same. I thought my teeth were too big, and i lacked the social grace of my sisters. I still am surprised when people tell me i look good :)) the teenage years are truly horrible on the self esteem :P
I must watch that movie now!
Such a cute post Abha! I liked it so much that I didn't even miss the Cub-Bub duo:P I hope to meet you sometime, whenever our paths cross.. till then all I can do is probably watch the movie!
So glad I read this...I am not reading many blogs as I would like these days! I must...this is a reminder for that! I can so relate to this! Intact I wanted to write a post on this myself... High school and the start of the need to be pretty syndrome...I was talk, too skinny, darker skinned and hated it! Looking back I was also smart, a very successful orator, and many other things...but what I would have given to be shorter and fair skinned :p (All my brains perhaps...who wants that right?) and then there was the time when my parents tried to find me the perfect groom...I felt like a total frump! Don't get me wrong I am totally comfortable in my skin and always have been...but there are those occasions when you are a teen/ young adult when looks are everything! Now I can laugh about it...thankfully I have grown up! Lol! Thanks for this post Abha!
And the fishes...I forgot about that..my dear you definitely are gorgeous..both inside and out :)
As always, the comments are even more tear-jerking than the original post. Not only are you gorgeous, Abe, you also have the most gorgeous friends! And to think, we have met only about 10% of them in real life :-)
When I look back at all the girls I fell for, I am always grateful (and relieved) that you were the one that fell with me. Stereotypes are undeniable and immortal, but true love can only come from a good heart. Kudos to your folks for never letting the radiance of your inner beauty dim even for a moment.
Hope we can bring up Cub and Bub the same way. Though I'd be happier if he ends up looking like Ranbir Kapoor....
You know, I am probably your parents' age or older, but you just described me in my teenage years and very early twenties ! So yes, it really has to do with bringing up.
And I am rushing to look up that movie on Youtube right now. I think my daughter should wee it :-)
Beautiful Post Abha!
It takes a beautiful person to write this!!
Ohh I know what you mean ..there were times when I felt the same way , early in teenage since I was fat. However I did get lot of unwanted attention much later in life , I continued to think that I am a plane jane and boys(or the ones I desire) wont notice ppl like me.
Not seen the movie ..but I must :)
There was a TV series on Sony sometime back on same theme called "Mahi way" and I liked most of it.
Like M said , it doesnot not take beauty to find a soul mate and you found yours :)
Btw M ...you did not say , whom would you like Ally to turn into :D
Hugs !!
Came back to read the comments and read Vidooshak's comment..awww! he is so cute :)
you got the right guy babes...other crushes be damned!
@Vidooshak: you are cute..you know that right?
Iya - thanks babes! muah! :)
MM - thanks a ton for those words! i am totally comfy in my skin now. its always easier to deal with what you feel once you accept it! i quite like myself the way i am now! hugs! :)
R's Mom - thankoo. from vidooshak and me! :p
Suma - really? you know i love how you look and even more importantly how genuine you are! makes you prettier! :) that and how you look sixteen!
Violet - soon soon our paths shall cross! :)
Preethi - even my blog reading and writing has dwindled! :( and why would i get you wrong? i think it is absolutely normal to want to look better inspite of our brains and everything else! and yes, i am glad to be all grown up too! :D
Vidooshak - i love you too! :) hugs!
Ugich konitari - :) some things never change, eh?! i am surprised how few folks know about this movie. its made by amol and chitra palekar. am sure your daughter will love it too - angst or no! :)
faiz - what a pleasant surprise! thank you! :)
Swati - i guess all of us go through these phases! and yes, M and me are lucky to have found each other! :)
cheers!
abha
Well said Abha! The self confidence is the key. How quickly you get the key to this confidence makes your life more enjoyable!!!
The movie it self is sheer joy to watch and listen! The joy was manifold as we saw the movie again with you and Mayunk!! Seeing movie/drama with like minded people is uplifting!!
Abha ENJOY!!!!
hi Abha - delurking to comment on your lovely post. I recently saw the movie on youtube - i remembered i had watched it while in school. Such a lovely movie and you're right - it's poetry in motion.
I completely loved the post and am a huge fan of that movie- same pinch.
But the Abha I see is spirited and gorgeous.
vidooshak- ranbir! cheeee.
What a lovely post
watched the movie sometime when it was aired on DD long back. As a gawky teenager who never got any attention from the boys, that song caught my attention too.
I guess the teenage years are difficult, but isn't it wonderful that one's looks does not stop one from getting one's true love in later years.
Dad - Thanks! :) i dont know if i would have been as sane without you guys! :)
kavs - thanks for delurking! and yes poetry in motion just about describes it! :)
art - thank you and same pinch! and yes, i feel quite spirited and gorgeous now! those days are left far behind! thank god for that! :)
CB - you gorgeous woman! you didnt get attention? what were the boys thinking? :D its not about getting the man even. its about how our entire self confidence tends to revolve around how we look. esp for women! we may be a thousand other things, but it hurts to not be considered pretty! it is just silly! thank god we grow up, eh?! :)
Ha ha ! Really ? All that ? Sach mein ?
I remember seeing your snap on mouthshut in which you were wearing a white dress, eyes shining, hair all wild and free, laughing in to the camera, and I went 'Wow !'
Now before you remind me that you were not fishing, let me tell you, I know you are not. You have always been such an amazing, honest person, who never put up any airs, who told things like they are.
PS : I always felt that Mayunk is one helluva lucky guy, and I see him agreeing there, in his comments ;)
Love,
Sujata
I totally understand your angst. Hpowever, given the choice, wouldn't you rather be a plain Jane with personality than an Aishwarya with all her looks? And you, my dear, have oodles of personality and a warmth that's very very endearing. Hugs to one of my earliest online friends.
And hey, so what if the boyfriends didn't flock around in college? YOu still managed to land Mayunk. ;-)and he's a gem awright. (Mayunk, you reading, right? ;-))
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