an ode to an ode...

My life till date has been pretty normal and mostly happy! Anti-jinx to that. No extreme lows, some highs and a lot of simple days with neither. But everyone has some angst at some point in time and mine was my looks. Or lack of it if I may say so. It is never easy being an average looking teenager. Dark, thick glasses, no sharp features and a big boned structure maketh not a traditional beauty.


Yes, one always knew about Inner Beauty and Personality, but these words made no sense when you did not get no boyfriend in college or even have boys noticing you. It was difficult not to feel bad sometimes about lack of roses on the dratted rose day or knowing there was precious little you could do about the image in the mirror.


The parents were ever supportive. Always talking about the innate intelligence and the street smartness that not many girls had. The fact that one was a social being and knew how to have a conversation with everyone. That one had good manners and kind heart. But that did not make the one I had crush on look at me. He still did prefer the obviously pretty.


The angst of an average looking girl is only what she can understand, deal with and get out of. There are no popular books and movies that talk about the Plain Jane. If they do, it is in the tone of how ugly duckling turned into a swan. The girls always become prettier and sexier, get rid of the glasses and the plumpness and get themselves the man. Which is why i LOVE this movie called Thodasa Roomani Ho Jaaye with all my heart.


It captures the life of a young woman who is not beautiful by any conventional standards. She can cook up a storm and repair cars. She is not scared of getting dirty, but cannot get herself to preen and look pretty. She obviously is not getting married because she just does not have what it takes. Then comes along the Rainmaker - Baarishkar who tells her to look within. Tells her that there are no bad looking woman. Then follows the gorgeous song "Main sundar hoon" - the realization that she is special too.


It is not just about her, but how he brings out hope and longings of each of the family members. The way he reads them, the way he helps them bring out their best, face their fears, accept what is good in them and believe that they can succeed. The movie is sheer poetry. Every dialogue will make you ponder, smile, tear up or do all of the above. With top class performances by Nana Patekar and Anita Kanwar, this movie is a treat that one just should not miss. The father in the movie is one who adores his daughter, sees the best in her and cannot understand why other people cannot see how special she is. I am yet to see a subtler and a more awesome portrayal of a father.


As I watched the movie again today, I still got transported to the time when I wanted to beautiful, when I identified with Binni's character and thought that with her I had discovered my beauty as well. For the longest time, i dressed in checked shirts and pants behaving like a tomboy! :p While it takes a lot of influence me, I think this movie really made me challenge the way I looked at myself and the world and it is still the best "pick me up" for me.


There is no DVD of the movie, but you can find VCD online. And the whole movie is available on YouTube as well. If you have not watched it, make sure you do.


If I could talk to my teenage self, I would tell me to just relax and while it would be great to be a stunner, you really wont do badly for yourself and your happiness will always shine through! :)


Here is the video of Nana Patekar reciting the dialogue in some interview. Amazing is an understatement!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVLH5HnNmbs

Here's another lovely article someone shared with me on facebook. It is good to know you are not the only idiot! ;)

http://www.divinecaroline.com/24133/96491-never-ugly

And here are some lines from one of my favouritest songs from the movie!

rasta akela ho
har tarf andhera ho
raat bhi ho ghaath ki
din bhi lut raah hoAao tum aur hum dard ko basuri banaye

Yehi to hai mausam
Aao tum aur hum
Thodasa roomani ho aye
Mushkil hai jeena umeed ke bina
Thode se sapna sajayae
Thodasa roomani ho jaye

PS: This is no fishing post asking you folks to tell me that I am indeed beautiful or how gorgeous my smile is! :) I now know my beauty and the lack of some of it mostly does not matter! Cheers!

so that my blog doesn't die!

I have been in this weird sort of funk. I think it has to do with my work and how I don't care anymore. I am still as happy with everything around me and in my life, but this whole feeling has been coming once too often and I cannot pinpoint why! Hopefully I will get out of it soon! I have to!


I haven't even been updating my blog as regularly and 5 readers I had are also disappearing. And it isn't that I have been just ignoring my blog, I have been too lazy to bother with fabulous blogs out there which saw me on their page with alarming regularity. Have i reached my saturation point? I sure hope not. There are still so many memories to jot down and so many more being made every other day.


Cubby has been obviously talking nineteen to a dozen. He makes up his own stories and songs and comes up with cutest stuff which I can't seem to remember always. Like the other day I was making some ready to cook pasta for him. He was sitting on the platform watching me make it. Suddenly he goes"Mummy app pasta bana rahe ho? Mere liye? Thank You!" How can your heart not melt and of course I tried giving him a bear hug which he resisted! :) He makes long conversations with people he likes, telling them what he did during the day, new things he saw etc though as a general rule its impossible to get him to tell you how the day went by. Prompt him a little and then he MIGHT tell you a little more.


We got his class photo a few days ago. I kept asking him the names of other kids and he refused to tell me. I know he is a bit reticent in the class and doesn't interact as easily with other kids. (Digression: This is a part that I hope he will learn eventually because right now I have no idea how to help him make friends so that his social interaction with kids his age improves. If anyone has any tips, please let me know! :) Digression over! So today I instead read out the names mentioned on the top of the photo and asked him to point out the kids and he got all of em right. So obviously he has been noticing and knows! :)


Cubby's school had their "ahem!" convocation ceremony last month. It was darn cute to see not yet 3feet tall l'il ones wearing a black convocation cap thing and smiling for photos (if they weren't tired of the heat and crying already!). Cubby got a sash that called him Mr. Gracious! That means that he shares his things readily and easily and is eager to help others. That is true, but a lot of it also has to do with the fact that he is not aggressive and tends to get bullied easily. And it's not funny how few gentle kids there are. I have been trying to teach him that it IS OK to hit back when someone hits him especially if saying No doesn't help. But it definitely is not easy. He will learn hopefully.


I recently had a mother who asked me "Why has Cubby changed?" earlier he would give the cars to if you told him to. Now even he cries for it." I was so tempted to tell her that he realized that neither other kids nor their parents insist that they share and that he is learning from them. But it is indeed amazing how they would all scramble to get their kid outta the classroom first so that their kids can get the car and then NEVER told them to share it even if some other child wanted it or just out of fairness. The kids once perched would be there the entire time not leaving other kids with any chance to play with em. Annoyed the hell outta me. Such is life, I guess! :( Rant over! Gah!


Cubby also keeps turning tables on us. Once at night we were getting ready to sleep. Light were turned off and M as is his habit was fiddling with his Blackberry for sheer timepass errr... to see if he had any important mails! ;) Cubby suddenly turns around and tells him "Lights band ho gayi hai! Ab so jao!"


He loves listening to stories and his parents are woefully short stocked. Now that grandparents are here there is some more stuff we are learning too and I hope to increase by database to keep him happy. Right now he is happy with daily repeats of Hungry Crow and Thirsty crow and complete the story everytime. When a pebble is seen it is picked up to give it to the crow! He was terribly unhappy when the fox walked away saying "Grapes and sour" and I had to enlist a Giraffe's help to pluck the grapes for the fox and how they both shared and ate em happily! ;) So improvisation is order of the day.


Of course its scary just how much they retain as it is awesome. Like yesterday my dad told him two stories of monkeys and the cap seller and Lion and Mouse for the first time. He remembered enough to tell me the gist of the story with some actions and sounds thrown in!


Sometimes, I wonder if I am wasting all this time where he could learn so much more. I know kids who know more stories and rhymes, can recognize their alphabets or solve big puzzles and I worry if I am not doing enough to feed his brain power. But then there is only as much we can do and are trying to do more fun stuff with him and hope he keeps getting good exposure. Right now in the time we have we usually end up running around in circles (literally), jumping from and on beanbags and parents and all such non-educational stuff! Bah!


He is growing up to be a wonderful l'il guy (except the whining) and is very helpful around the house. We also got him a side wheels waala bicycle and his daadu managed to teach him to ride it using half pedal, so he keeps riding around the terrace even tho its still a l'il tall for him! :) He is also mighty proud about that fact and so are we! :) He usually does the riding around night when we are at home. So he takes the emergency lamp and keeps it in the right place, turns it on, gets his cycle out, sits on it with little help and then takes his rounds. He keeps repeating our instructions saying "Sharp turn hai toh mein dheere chala raha hoon" and all that jazz.


When we have guests over, and we are having drinks and snacks, he takes the snack bowls around offering it to everyone! :) He takes breakfast plate for Papa, gets water bottle for us with glass when requested and so much more!


He acts so grown up most of the times that sometimes we forget he is a baby and happily keep ordering him around! :p He can take off his shoes and now wear them too. He might not always get the foot right, but he keeps doing it on his own and almost always succeeds!


His appetite has also improved slightly! Touchwood and anti-jinx. Of course feeding him is still a long drawn process requiring distractions, but logic of having to eat subzi-dal to get muscles sometimes works! :) He can eat seriously spicy stuff when he wants to. He loves chicken and fish and its time we should learn to cook that stuff me thinks. He loves junk food like farsaan and can give his father a stiff competition when allowed to eat unsupervised! He absolutely loves juice and the bad for health soft drinks which he gets rarely.


He is not in hugely into TV and can use it just as occasional distraction. He still loves his animated movies and Jungle Books rules even today! Apart from that Toy Story, Horton Hears a Who, Tailspin and gang will do. He has also recently discovered Superman and Spiderman and the father-son duo can be heard singing the Spiderman title track (tele series ) often enough! :)


What started as a dull post has turned into a full fledged after eons Cubby update and I am glad! :) Now the title isn't relevant, but i started with it, so I shall stick to it! :)


i LOVE you my darling son and cannot believe you are going to turn THREE in July! Phew! :)


and since it is an Cubby update i shall add some recent photos! :)

The occassional ticklish maalish in the sunny balcony!

The kid who clowns around all the time!

and KNOWS he looks cute while at it! :)

A chicken sausage breakfast on a cold school morning! :)

Running his heart out at the sports day! :)

The resaon for this mad excitment is the man in the background! The daadu! :)

Trying his hand at finer painting! :D

Holding homemade "Palm Print" flowers to give to teachers on last day of school!

Helping decorate his room! :)

and standing to show all the hardwork!

Thanks Shruti for the Wallies link! :)

The Man! The Machine!

Toh aapki hobbies kya hai?! ;) (with Dia)

Wearing his own sandals and proud of it!

might as well do some tag to break the block!

Kiran tagged me some time ago to tell the world some honest stuff about me! last time i had to do a tag about 10 things you don't know about me, I had struggled to reach 10 points! Lets see how I fare this time! ;)


I am a quick reader, but not the most attentive one. You ask me tomorrow what I read yesterday, chances are I won't remember. I just want to move on to the next page!


I cannot wear heels. After the first few times when they killed my back, I never went near them. I keep looking for nice flats. And yes, i trip over wearing them too! :p


I tend to start things with a bang but then end up losing interest pretty quickly!


I LOVE going to these home expos and exhibitions and shopping there. I realised this when my I answered "Exhibition" to almost all questions relating to "where did you buy this from?" about things in my house!


I have never been proposed! Not even M! Sigh! Ofcourse I have told at least 3 guys that I have a crush on them and the only way I can get over it is by telling them!


I save and reuse wrapping wrappers that I like. And yes, they go under the gaddas on the bed for safe keeping! ;)


I hate washing clothes! Give me a sink load of bartans, I can manage them, but even two clothes and I totally whine!


I am a very average cook which I think stems from that the fact that I am not an enthusiastic one.


I eat wonly dark chocolates. I might have a small piece of milk chocolate on rare occasions but that would mostly be only out of sheer desperation for one. Otherwise anything below 60% dark is not even called Chocolate! Ha!


I am not very good at accepting even constructive criticism. Ask M.


Phew that was tough! I tag Suma, Swati, JLT and WIAN to do this tag! Bring it on ladies!


And now here's some photos of the Jodhpur chapter of our Rajasthan trip! The Mehrangarh fort is absolutely awesome and MUST visit. The autos there are very kitschy and touristy and very very comfortable. The hotel we stayed at was beyoootiful! :)




Happy to be in a big bed after sharing a berth with me on the train! :)



Just to show you guys who tall the bed was! :)




I so totally fell in love with the autos! each one was unique!

The Mehrangarh Fort is stunning! Must see, folks!

The room where the king enjoyed his entertainemnt! it's s rich and the work so intricate! They really knew how to live it up! :)

The Blue city. They claim it NOT in comeptition to the Pink City! I was not convinced!



The "palkhis" for the Royal kids. our kids just get the royal "godi" :p



The men and the arms they use! ;)




The gorgeous silk stoles. I indulged in just one!



Candlelight dinner at ratan Vilas. It is a gorgeous property!



Stairway to the beautiful terrace!



View from the top!

The ma-beta in rare moment of lauuu! :p

I told ya i loved the autos. Guess what? they love me back! :) written in the auto!

The Vintage cars at palace now converted in to VERY expensive heritage hotel!

There were a lot more pictures. But i just got tired. And this post has been drafts since 9th Feb! gah!! Hope to be l'il more regular now.

Thank you for all your good wishes for the new home. We have settled down and have just few more boxes to go! ;) Next post I hope to give you a small tour! If i can get a carpenter to come and do some fixing that is! :p

happy gudi padva to all of you. may this new year bring everything good, beautiful and kind in your life and may you add the same in other people's lives!

Cheers!

awesome, anyone?!

Past few days I have been feeling a tad low and l'il deficient as a mother and a wife and generally think am being a painful person to have around! So, this tag might be a good exercise in boosting my self esteem. Thanks awesomely cool Asaan and awesomely funny MiM for this one. Ofcos these two phenomenal ladies have done just too much of an awesome job of it, but I am gonna give it a shot in any case! :D


I need to put down 7 things that make me AWESOME! Seven seems a tall order! brrrr!


I am awesome because I have a smile that reaches my eyes even today. My teeth aren't pearly white by any stretch of imagination, but that has never stopped me from showing em off at any given chance! :p


I am awesome because I always manage to look at the bright side, the silver lining or whatever else you might call it. I love the fact that I am almost always positive about how things are and will turn out! :)


I am awesome because I am a solution oriented person. I can think in ten different ways and come up with just the right option. Basically, I am quick on take and enjoy taking control of the situation that seems to be getting bothersome!


I am awesome because I deal with people at every level with equal respect. You can be the office boy or my boss, my maid or my ma in law, you will see me being polite and genuinely respectful and/or affectionate. I use please and thank you in every situation, though sorry doesn’t come by that easily! :p I make friends easily too, though keeping in touch is not my strongest point! ;)


I am awesome because I can forgive even when I may / may not forget, but mostly I forget too. I truly believe that life is too short to hold grudges and waste time in hating when it can be used to love! :)


I am awesome because I give without expecting (most of the times! Hubby may be excluded from this! ;). I believe that one good turn gets another and even when you may not get something back from the same person; it will come to you from the most unexpected quarter... in full measure or maybe more! :)


I am awesome because I managed to do this tag!! I started this blog on M's insistence and didn't think that it will be such an awesome thing to have where i can record our life with Cubby and make awesome friends while at it!


Now if that isn’t too much awesomeness for a day, I dunno what is! ;)


I tag fellow awesome peoples;


Puja for being an awesome friend all the time!

Swati for being awesome at everything!

~nm for being awesomely creative - be it cooking or photography or making cool headers!

Namesake for using her words so awesomely that you always feel you are right there!

Priyanka for doing awesomely interesting stuff with her l'il gal Ash!

Sue for her awesomely clear thinking and honesty!

Dee because she is awesomely sporting and funnn!

Mags - for being an awesome woman in every way! and please to read THIS awesome post by the lady that talks about keeping our children safe from sexual abuse.

Couchpapaya - for being an awesome reader, reviewer and cook!

Angel's flight - for being awesomely fun and sensible!

seeing i to i

Whatsinaname tagged me to do this. As if you actually wanted to know more about me! But hey me like talking about meself! ;) So, here I am!

I am: a happy soul who loves to love and be loved!

I think: that most of the thinking we do is completely pointless!

I know: I need to lose weight so that my back strains itself l'il less!

I want: another baby and ability to forgive and forget... always!

I have: everything I could have ever wanted.

I wish: for happiness in everyone's life!

I hate: people with no civic sense of any kind!

I miss: giggling fits with girlfriends!

I fear: i might become cynical some day.

I feel: happiness is a state of mind and if you have it everything else is a passing phase!

I hear: Cubby babbling and waiting to hear him say Mommy!

I smell: baby powder, poo and Cool Water.

I crave: chocolates!

I search: for that elusive smart outfit in big size!

I wonder: can a relationship indeed be so comfortable and warm!

I regret: not having done a "dekhne-dikhaane" ka programme least once before getting married to my sweetheart of 7 years!

I love: my family, friends and the fact that my smile still reaches my eyes! (modesty?)

I ache: for anyone going through hard times esp children

I care: about environment and the fact that each ONE's action affects our future.

I am not: organised!

I believe: in God and Humanity!

I dance: to all dhinchak hindi numbers! danced too much even at my wedding much to the shock of Northie sasural! ;)

I sing: not too badly! Love the vamp's songs more!

I cry: at drop of the hat! :D more at happy things that fill my heart with so much emotion that i have to cry! weird!

I don’t always: smile! people get shocked when they see my cry the first time! YOU?? Cry?? hehe!

I fight: rarely! When i do its mostly auto waalas with bad meter! ggrrrrrrrr!!

I write: to make memories and have fun!

I win: rarely!

I lose: but I am ok as long as its been a fair play!

I never: manipulate!

I always: am looking for new restaurants to try!

I confuse: huh? what? ;)

I listen: TO my heart!

I can usually be found: smsing or talking!

I am scared: of losing things that matter! and my signature NOT matching when it matters the most! it's horrible not be able to sign consistently! know any classes?

I need: to just be myself!

I lack: ambition

I am happy about: having a guardian angel looking over me all the time! He/ She is too good to be true! :D touchwood!

I tag Bangaloremom, Puja and ~nm