will the real mother please stand up?! :)

Read this gorgeous gorgeous piece on MadMomma's blog. We all tend to judge people on the basis of our beliefs. There are a few things which are as right or wrong in a black and white manner with no shades of grey. Leaving those apart, all of us at some point fall into the trap of thinking we know better or someone else always seems to be doing better. Mothers are the most judged and judgmental of the lot and we learn to live with it. So like that blog post, I am making an attempt to figure out who Real Mother is! :)

Real mothers breastfeed. Or they don't. They don't because they cannot or perhaps because they don't want to.

Real mothers experience love at first sight with their babies. Real mothers take months to feel that love and show it.

Real mother use diapers. Real mothers use cloth nappies.

Real mothers are patient and forgiving. Real mothers are impatient and get frustrated.

Real mothers make fresh food for their kids for every meal. Real mothers also serve leftovers and feed processed food every now and then.

Real mothers stay at home for their children. Real mothers work out of homes for their children.

Real mothers don't trust others with their children. Real mothers trust someone else to look after them in their absence or in their presence.

Real mothers make outfits from scratch for fancy dress or Halloween. Real mothers just pay some money and rent them.

Real mothers teach their children at home. Real mothers send their children for tutions.

Real mothers have a fixed bedtime for their children. Real mothers don't insist on it.

Real mothers can bake birthday cakes. Real mothers just get them baked.

Real mothers dance with their children. Real mothers read to their children. Real mothers don't do either.

Real mothers never show their tears. Real mothers cry in front of their children.

Real mothers eat before their children. Real mothers feed their children first.

Real mothers cannot stay away from their children. Real mothers cannot wait to get away for a while from their children.

Real mothers don't take the nannies along on their shopping trips. Real mothers do.

Real mothers are proud of their kids. Real mothers are also embarrassed by theirs.

Real mothers take their children to shopping malls and gaming zones. Real mothers take their children to parks and zoos. Real bothers do all of it too.

Real mothers get Wii for their children. Real mothers play ball with their children.

Real mothers let their children watch TV. Real mothers don't bother with that contraption ever.

Real mothers get bored of constant chatter of their kids. Real mothers cannot have enough of it.

Real mothers take their children to movies. Real mothers don't. Real mothers also take them to concerts and plays.

Real mothers don't buy guns and dolls for their children. Real mothers do.

Real mothers judge and get judged. Real mothers don't.

We may think that one kind of mother is better than other, but then we rarely have the big picture to know why the mother is making the decisions she is. And most of us are not on either extreme. We are somewhere in between and trying our best to balance it all. Mostly.

Fact is, all mothers are Real. As Real as everything WE so firmly believe in and know to be right! :)

So, will the real mother please stand up?!

21 months at 80 clicks! :)

So IHM, Monika and my namesake have tagged me to put down 5 points that make motherhood special for me! I have read some seriously amazing stuff out there and I am feeling like a bit of a doofus among all these amazing mums!


Ofcos there are a lot of things I can whine about too, but we shall leave it for another day! Or actually maybe it will be a part Cubby's 21 month update that I plan to club with this post.


The tag is: 5 things that you love about being a mom. Next, find someone to link to and tag - someone from your own country, if you like, but definitely someone from another country (let them know that you've tagged them!) - and link back here and HBM and leave a comment.


1) I love the way how I can be surprised all the time. I mean you know all kids walk some day, but the day I saw Cubby take his first steps, I just could not hold my tears back. And then I get surprised when he is suddenly trying to jump and next I know he is going up and down the steps (all of 3 floors) on his own needing very little help! I mean everything they do is just so new and fascinating, its a source of endless wonderment and joy! :)


2) I love seeing M as a father. I mean he was always brilliant with kids, but seeing him being able to keep at it 24/7 if need be, makes me happier than ever before. And sometimes, when I seem to stand back and look at three of us together, it is indeed a happy picture. Touchwood.


3) I love it when someone tells me that Cubby's smile is like mine. I like to hear guessing games between people about whom does he actually look like, though I myself still can't make any statement because I have no idea! Yet, when someone says that he is right mix of both of us, it makes me feel strangely emotional that he is OUR creation in every sense of the term.


4) I love how I love shopping for him. Be it books, clothes, shoes or socks or even decorating his room, I can spend hours doing it or take the decision within minutes. I love dressing him up in well co-ordinated clothes (not expensive though) and how I am obsessed with buying him matching socks. He must own least 2 dozen pairs of those things. I go through kiddie section of books forever trying to find the right stuff he might enjoy. Books that will help his fledgling love for books grow!


5) I love the smiles, hugs, kisses and baby talk. I don't think I can get enough of those! Ever! :)


Most Mom's I read have already been tagged and even done their tag. So leme just tag some whom I think haven't done it as yet. They might all be in Bengaluru itself tho!


Puja who enjoys just looking at daughter so much that she forgets to take pictures!


JLT whose tongue in cheek look at motherhood and all that comes with it and because she should be writing a lot more often!


Usha who has been through diapers and baby talk ages ago, but once a mother, always a mother they say!


Magicalsummer - a great friend and an amazing mom of two teens from Chennai.


Mampi because I love reading about her sensitive kids (when she rarely chooses to share them with us) and would love to read her take on this!


and why not add Fatherhood to this too! We have our own Bill Cosbys too! :) (though they never till date have written about it, I hope they do!)


~uh~ a proud and experienced Dad in Mumbai


ROFL Indian - the funniest dad around who is in jaipur!


And now to move on Cubby's 21 months! Just 3 months shy of 2 years and time is flying faster than it ever did. This ones gonna be a quickie for sure. For one I have coupla other longish posts in my head and for another I am too zonked out from Lucknow trip to make a lot of sense right now.


You are learning to jump on your own now. I don't know where you saw it that you suddenly want to do it all the time. You bend your knees as much as you can and then come up saying JUMP! At first it was just one foot that went in air a bit. Then both which is when you would fall on l'il bum and say "Cubby gi gaya" and come to us saying "Chhot lag gayi". Now every now and then you manage to get both feet l'il off the ground and NOT fall too! Ofcos a round of applause is demanded saying "Taai Taai!"


While potty training has been almost successful since last month, you can now sit on the normal pot with a potty seat kept on it. That's how we managed to keep the potty training on even at Lucknow. I would have never thought I would be carrying a potty seat with me! :p Things parenting makes us experience. It was M's idea and all credit goes to him! :)


You parody us constantly! It's so weird to hear you repeat the stuff we say in the same tone and you KNOW we find it funny! You will call your papa exactly the way I do or say O Re Baabbaa the way his Bua does 9whom he has met just recently!). It's just hilarious and is to be heard to be believed.


You have suddenly taken a 360 degree turn from being the sunshine kid to the whiny kind and I am finding it reallllly difficult to come to terms with it. You wake up crying and in general cry a lot more than you ever have in all these months! You have stranger anxiety to add to it and actually cling to us when around other people. It's giving me a lot more grief than I thought it would and I am quite upset with myself for that! I want the puraana Cubby back, please! God, you listening?!


Your vocabulary is increasing by leaps and bounds and when I actually sit back and think I cannot remember what new stuff has been added because it's like you have been talking forever. And now it's not just us talking that you remember. The other day at Lucknow, when Daadu put on the fan you actually said "its making noise!" When the heck did you learn that now?!


You love airports! We have had quite a few trips in past coupla months either to pick up or drop people and traveling a coupla times. You go ballistic in the space you get, keep trying to look for "Aeopanes" (change from Aeopaya) of last month and generally run around giving us a good workout too! :)


You enjoy having your separate seat for yourself now. Be it in the bus or the car. It was so cute to see you sit comfy on your own seat on the bus ride to the airport. Ofcos a godi is demanded in sometime, but you are growing up very fast l'il guy! :)


You love physical masti of all kinds. Be it keep falling around on the gadda, or throwing yourself recklessly on the beanbag or being held ulta with your head down and legs around my waist and your hands in mine! We walk around the room talking to odds and ends on the way! :) You will come n say "Mummy! Ginna Hai!" (girna hai) which means I need to do the ulta thing! :)


You are trying to wear and take off your shoes and even trying to take off your shorts and pajamas! You almost manage the taking off bit every now and then. Aren't you just dying to be independent?! :)


Papa told me that you know I am home when you hear my bike coming in. You then go on to say, "mummy aa gayi, hemmet utarenge, jacket utarenge!" The moment you get a whiff that I am about to change my clothes you start pulling them saying "utarenge" and stand with my pajama or tee in your hand saying "yeh pehnenge!" When did you learn all this?! :)


While it's getting more n more difficult to get your smiling pictures, you sometimes see the camera and say "SMiille", but our camera, sadly is too slow to catch that quick moment! Ofcos in no time you want the "camena" and put it back in the pouch!


This month you have grown so much that it seems impossible! :) Your baby talk just got cuter, smiles brighter (tho sadly fewer too!) and crying a tad unbearable! But mostly it's still more fun than not! :)


Love ya lots my sweetheart! happy 21st! :)