you better read this letter 4

Dearest Cub and Bub,


You mother has been quiet for a long time and while you poor things keep getting an earful from me pretty much everyday, I haven't spouted some gyaan in this space. So, might as well, eh?


You know what I have been noticing the most these days is sheer lack of courtesy in every sphere of life. My biggest peeve at times being simple Elevator manners. Yes, seemingly simple - 'Let people getting off, well, get off first and then get in. The elevator WILL wait. Yes, really! Folks seem to not even notice little kids while they push past as if, it is the last ride ever.


Point is, courtesy in underrated and I want both of you to know it and remember - at all times! I think it is better to over-do the Thank-you than not enough. People might say you are being formal and that it is not necessary, but good manners ARE a necessity. Keep at it!


Then there is something called Personal Space which isn't always physical. Indians by nature are curious about other people's lives and we don't think about how personal and intrusive our questions can be. So try and learn that there are some questions that you do not ask people or some comments you do not make. Especially people you don't know too well and vice versa.


Do not comment on people's weight! Ever! Whether they are too fat, too thin or have gone from being fat to thin or thin to fat. It is extremely rude to say the least. In the same vein, never ask a woman if she is pregnant. If she is, she will tell you when she thinks the time is right or never at all, but imagine that she is NOT preggers and you ask that question! Definite no go! :)


Same way, no commenting on skin colour or hair or any another physical characteristic in a person. Let's just say the thumb rule is, 'If you do not have anything nice to say, stay quiet'. There is no need to shoot our mouths all the time, is there?


Another invader of personal space set of questions is related to marriage and kids. It really is none of your business as to why someone chose to Not marry or Not have kids or chose to marry someone you think is not right or have one too many kids than you think is ok! :) It is annoying to the person in question o be interrogated for his / her personal choices and rude on your part to ask them.


Also uncool to ask someone how much they earn or tell how much you do.


Life is tough for a lot of folks and we won't know why they are the way they are till we walk many miles in their shoes. There are always things we will not know. I am not saying you cannot discuss these things with your close friends, but only if they are ok with it. But you definitely do not want to ask these questions to a casual acquaintance, a random relative or your colleagues. I have been guilty of some of these, but I have now learnt to not to indulge in these faux-pas as far as possible. At least not intentionally! :)


So there, that is it for today! I will be back when I think of something else to chew your ears about! :)

Love ya both! Lots!


ps: you can read the previous letters here, here and here

a letter to my son (aka you better read this letter 3)

The news of a girl being gang raped in Delhi in a bus and then pushed off it along with her friend has disturbed everyone to no end and I am no exception to it. And this is not a one off incident happening in one city of our country either. We all keep wondering what can we do to make things better and of course there is no single answer.


There is the need for extremely stringent punishment obviously! (but what is obvious to us, is not to the Powers in question! sigh!) There is a need for more safety all around for women. But what we need most are sons who are bought up better. Honestly, to me, that seems like the biggest problem that needs to be tackled. In a country where Boys are considered 'better' than Girls, where patriarchal attitudes are an accepted norm, more and more men seem to have trouble understanding and accepting that women DO have a mind AND will of their own that goes beyond pleasing men.


So here is attempt at drilling some sense in to my son! I hope that he will be a gentleman around all women - all the time!


Dearest Cub,


A woman is NOBODY's property. Irrespective of what our society makes us believe. I hope by the time you grow up an application form that a woman needs to fill will NOT have Father / Husband's name as a mandatory field. But till that happens or does not ever happen, remember that a woman is as much her own person as a man is. Right?! Right! :)


There is nothing that is only a man's or only a woman's job. No work can be decided by gender roles. Both the Bub and you will learn similar things at home. Be it cooking or changing the light bulb. (I cannot, but then I am sure I will be able to if I have to. Just like I CAN pick up the 20ltr water cans when I have no choice!:p). Men change diapers and women drive.


There is nothing wrong in being chivalrous. It is charming really. But do not expect every woman to want it or even like it. Cherish and respect the independence of women around you and you will be one lucky guy. So be ready to split the bills at the restaurant and get laughed at for opening the door! :) That said, charm is never wasted, especially when it is genuine! :)


When a woman says NO, she means NO! I know you will see enough ridiculous movies and read enough silly books that tell you otherwise. That say that when a woman says No, she actually means Yes! There is nothing farther from the truth. She might change her mind over a period of time. Or she might not. Whatever it is, please to note that it is HER call to make and your responsibility to accept it.


Never take advantage of a woman who is either sad, on a rebound or drunk. No actually make that NEVER take advantage of a woman in any situation. Always be kind and helpful. Ok?!


Do not glorify women to be perfect mothers, wives and daughters. They have had quite enough of that. Understand and accept that a woman has as many grey shades in her life as a man. They are as susceptible to frustrations and highs as you are. And yes, they think about sex as much. So try not to be shocked. Oh! and need I say do not objectify them either!


Repeat after me ad-infinitum - A woman NEVER ASKS for it! It does not matter what she wears, where she is and what time it was. So do not fall into the trap of blaming the victim. It is our collective responsibility as a society to ensure her safety and first step is having more awesome men like you around! :)


Be happy if someday your wife / girlfriend earns more than you! :) There is no reason to be insecure just because traditionally it is the man's job to earn the bread. Or do not get upset if your super educated partner chooses to stay at home to raise your children instead of winning accolades in her field of expertise. The most important tenet of Feminism is 'choice'. You will remember that I am sure.


There are so many raging feminist issues now which I hope by the time you are older will have reduced greatly. I mean surely we still won't be discussing of a woman should take her husband's surname or stick to her maiden name? It will be quite de rigeur. And the word 'dowry' will not exist! 


There are so many things still on my mind which I do not know how to put on paper. Hopefully you will watch and learn. The good things that is. The important thing to remember that an individual is an individual and the gender really has nothing to do with it. It is as pointless as religion is, but that is for another day, eh?!


Love ya lots
Mamma

ps: you can find the previous two letters here and here. 

the pehla wehla phoren trip! :p

A lot has happened and yet not much! The Bub turned two, two months ago and I have STILL not written a post! Bwwwaaaaah! :( But it is there in my drafts and I intend to finish it one of these days. Enough whining and to the post I intend to write now! :p


This was my Facebook update a couple of days ago;

"We are back with bags full of dirty clothes, hearts full of happy memories and memory cards full of fun photus and of course wallets that are very empty! :) One week in Singapore was perfect to say the least! The weather gods played truant only after we had done major sightseeing! Cub got his wish of getting pics clicked with his favourite Shrek and Alex. There were animals, birds, roller coasters and boat rides. And most of all Cub and Bub got to know one more of their Buas and Uncles better! :) Thank you Kittu Bua and V uncle for being brilliant hosts and making out trip that much more memorable! We cannot wait to have you in Bengaluru now! Hugs!"


So, now you know we went to Singapore on a holiday. Couple of fellow bloggers on my friends list said that I should do a proper blog post and it was that push I needed. I do hope i finish writing this in a day or so!


We flew with Tiger Airways (the only airline we could afford) and were worried about the whole low cost experience, but we had a really good and comfortable flight - to and fro. Since we had a cousin living in Singapore, we spent a couple of days at hotel and stayed with family another few days who indulged us with some seriously good hospitality! :)


We tried to keep our schedules fairly easy considering we had two kids and one senior citizen with us and we are not great on stamina either. Since we were five us out of whom four needed tickets everywhere, we stuck to using cabs for most part. Cost us almost the same and saved us fair bit of time.


A friend asked me how was Singapore? Well, Singapore is Singapore i said! It is neat, clean, child and differently able friendly and full of surcharges and taxes of every kind! It is also hot and humid and bright sun makes for gorgeous photos, if you are looking for that weather silver line! :p


We managed to visit Jurong Bird park, Night Safari and Universal Studios in detail and did bit of Sentosa and some small shopping at the fun China Town and boating at Clarke Quay / Boat Quay.


The day we reached we stepped out only by late afternoon and had to skip the zoo and went straight for the Night Safari. It was a fabulous experience starting from getting to see some animals right outside (with their care takers) to the tram ride taking us through the whole gamut of nocturnal animals to the short walks one can take within the safari. 


Day 2 was Jurong Bird Park and we had a great time yet again. Cub fed the birds, we managed to catch some interesting shows about Birds of Prey, Penguins and birds trained to perform, like macaws and cockatoos. I loved the stunning colours on so many of these winged wonders and it is something to see over 50 flamingos together. 


Day 3 was the day Cub was excited about the whole Singapore trip - Universal Studios! :) He was looking forward to meeting Shrek and got the whole cast of Madagascar as a bonus as well. He did his first roller coaster ride and surprised us by not being scared of pretty much anything! :) That boy has some genes of mine then. Yayyy for that! I am a big roller coaster type thrills junkie and it is good to have company! :) The Shrek 4D show was good fun and so was Donkey Live. We were lucky to find very little wait time at almost all the rides and performances and could make most of the time we had there.


At Sentosa, we just went to the Underwater World and saw the Songs of the Sea show. And yeah! Did the cable car ride. There was an evening spent with friends at Marina Bay Sands' shopping mall and the lovely open area outside. I was meeting these M's friends for the first time and it just did not feel like that. Add to that some fabulous Italian food and we were very happy people. 

We also did the short boat ride at Clarke Quay and it was a pleasant way of spending 40mins. Relaxing and smooth and you get to see all the lovely sights of Singapore. Clarke Quay is also known for its clubbing scene, but with kids on tow we skipped that. The other side has a long line of restaurants that serve you every kind of food available. Seeing the huge, live crabs and lobsters in tanks all around is not for the fainthearted! :p Almost all the eateries offer some sort of discount or welcome drink etc. You can see folks from all over the world converge and enjoy their meals by the bay side. 


What we missed doing and wish could have was go on the Flyer and see the zoo. We also wanted to take kids to a big water park, but the last two days were pretty much washed out with constant rains. We did go to China Town - a market place for all things sasta, pretty, souvenirs and probably not very teekau. Actually not very sasta considering the exchange rate! :( But it is a really cool place and you should make a trip there if you go to Singapore. We just bought chhota chhota things to give Cub's and Ally's friends and some clothes. 


For khaana, we ate some local food, some ghar ka khaana and some Indian food outside as well esp since ma in law got kinda sick of the seafood smell from everywhere! The kids survived on chips, biscuits, juice and an occasional nutritional meal. Bub had a few yogurt dinners as well! :p


The Cub and Bub were quite well behaved unless hunger or fatigue hit them! The Cub enjoyed most of the stuff and after ages we got some really cute photos! :) The Bub on the other hand spent most of her time greying our hair by running amok all over in crowded places. It was one person's full time duty to just keep track where she was. Phew! Oh and must mention how she kept taking off her shoes just about a thousand times a day and sitting on the ground pretty much everywhere! Oh well!


Here are some photos! :)

well past bed time! At Bengaluru Airport! :)

The Croc-Hunter?! :p

My tail who refused to leave my side! I am talking about the Bub! :p

Yes! That Owl is real! :)

We are same same but different! :) (Idea credit to M)

The very tired Bub after a late night flight, a full day and a night safari!

Errr... self explanatory?! :p

At the Jurong bird park! :)

in the Tram that takes you around the Bird Park.

Cub feeding the birds. He was little scared but soon quite amazed! :)

Then it was the Bub's turn!

But no birds came along!

Till one came and sat next to her to finish off the worms! :)

The Cub and the Flamingos! :)

Some jumping around is always good! :)

Who knew that Karate was a water sport?! :p  (Thanks Richa for the water park tip!)

At the Marina Bay Sands shopping arcade!

Kids loved running around the huge open space! :)

The yogurt dinner!

The tired Cub pretending to sleep Bub style with a Tauiya! :)



Phew! I am tired of adding so many photos. So, the rest of the pics in next post! :) 

Hope you guys are having a fabulous new year. Cheers!

on a rainy day! :)

When Cyclone Nilam was ravaging Tamilnadu, Bangalore saw it's side effects with two days of incessant rains, crazy winds and sudden drop in temperature turning Bangalore into a veritable hill station all of a sudden. Considering there was hardly any rain during the entire rainy season, everyone welcomed these showers (atleast for the first day before the roads got worse, traffic turned for worst and damp clothes occupied every available surface in the house!;)


All said and done, the weather was gorgeous - the kind where you either cuddle under a razaai all day long or step out and enjoy the rains. We decided to do the later! We left thinking of having lunch at some new place in the city. But both the places we shortlisted were typically enclosed spaces and how does one enjoy the weather there, really?


So, we just turned the car around and decided to go to another new place we had just heard about called Cafe Buzzinga in Whitefield, Bangalore. Found the phone number, called and found exactly where it was and reached. It is lovely open space @ Lakeview Farms (which in itself is a private property - a part of which the owners have given for commercial purposes).


Cafe Buzzinga is as casual as it's name makes it sound. Run by two young partners, it is a simple place with daily fresh menu on a white board and comfortable cane chairs on pebbled ground. The kids felt at home instantly. Add to that the huge lawn (belonging to the owners) where they had a free run (till the owners came along) and indulgent service - we ended up having an absolutely fabulous afternoon!


What made the whole experience superlative was customer delight offered by the cafe! We absolutely LOVED the bacon in their all day breakfast combo. Since we wanted to have more of the said bacon, we asked them if they could make us a bacon/cheese sandwich which was not on the menu. There wasn't a moment of hesitation and a perfectly grilled sandwich was at our table soon enough! :)


Here are some pictures that should give you an idea! :)

On our way out! Cub holding Bub's hand to keep her under the umbrella, while Bub has plans of her own! ;)

In the middle of the huge lawn of Lakeview Farms! :)

Cub trying to channelize his inner Hulk! But he was too happy to get it right! :)

Arre Bhaiyya! Let me pose by myself! :)

Doing a round of the lawn while the food gets ready! :)

and Bub chose to take a walk with her Papa! :)

Time for some hot chocolate?! :) Served very thoughtfully in a little Espresso cup for a little girl! :)

Content smiles post a great meal and a good time! :)  

The lake and wet roads on our way back! 

Cub ka Superhero Budday Party!

I must put it down before his next birthday comes up! I mean, seriously! I also want to do a BuB update before HER next birthday comes up as well.


Since Cub is totally and completely into Superheroes, we decided to attempt a Superhero themed party for his 5th birthday. For one The Fifth is sort of a milestone birthday and for another, this was the first time he had a bunch of friends in a colony. It made sense to have a biggish party this once. So, we went about planning it with M getting palpitations at the number of kids I wanted to invite and I was getting tired of his eye-rolls for every idea I came up with. Finally all of us together managed to pull off a decent party!


Here are some photos;

The preparations! :) The father cutting cardboard and the son painting the newspapers! :)

She pretended to use the paintbrush and paint the newspaper and then we were not looking indulged in some face painting of her own! :p

The last minute idea of making superhero wristbands being executed perfectly by M the previous night! We are nothing, if not immaculate planners!

The birthday boy posing with the party decor and his gift! :D

Kids started trickling in from 430pm itself for a 5pm party and by 5 most junta was there!


They are all making superhero themed photoframes for which the cardboard was being cut and newspapers painted in the first snap. We got some superhero images and logos printed from Printo, cut them and kept them in separate containers. Kids had to pick the logos, paste them on their frames the way they like it and then paste the photo in the space where we stuck coloured newspaper! :)

The kids making their frames which they then took home! The decor was some balloons and sounds typically found in comic books which were printed, cut in funky shapes by the father and stuck on walls.

A finished frame would look something like this! :)


Oh and we got capes stitched for all the kids from https://www.facebook.com/pages/Vandanamu-Ethical-Cottons/117874911582117 which is a NGO basde out of Pondicherry run by Swapna's mum. Excellent choice if you want to get anything stitched - bags, aprons, capes etc at extremely reasonable rates and excellent finish! :)

The Bub, unused to NOT being the center of attention took on a supervisory role and kept grabbing crayons from everyone! sigh!

The party then moved to the club house for khaana peena. This was the welcome note! :) Again made by the father 20mins before the party! :)

The piece de resistance. Superhero Cupcakes! :D

Since we ran out of budget to make a themed cake as well, we bought a simple cake, used some sticks to put superhero logos we already had and Voila! :D


Point to note here is that we forgot candles! Yes, did i not tell you about our efficient planning. We also had to run and get the knife while the kids waited impatiently. Well, one lives and learns is all I can say in our defense! :p

For people who do not know much about Superheroes - some basic gyaan! :D

The pile of gifts! Brrrrrr! :)

And the best gift wrapping award goes to our very own Art and Anush! :D



So, this in nutshell was Cub's 5th. While we did lot of work for the party, the food part was completely outsourced and we had no complaints on that front.


We also realized that kids are so attuned to the concept of return gift that too in form of a cheap chinese toy that they just could not wrap their around the fact that the cape, the superhero wristband and couple of chocolates WAS the return gift! While some kids were so sweet that they asked us multiple times if they could indeed take the cape back home with them! :)


All in all, it was great fun organizing this party for the Cub and he seemed quite happy too! :)

You better read this letter

Sorry for that supremely lame title, but I do think it is a notch better than what came to my mind first - Maine tujhe khat likha (anyone remember / know that song?!;)

So, I am attempting to share some life lessons with Cub and Bub in this one. Of course, my life has been ridiculously simple (knock on wood!), so I really do not have lot of  varied experiences or major wisdom to share, but one has to make do with what one has, isn't it? :)


My dearest Cub and Bub,


It is an absolute joy to have YOU in our lives. Yes, it is also tiring and sometimes extremely frustrating, but most of the times it is fun. We revel in your achievements - big and small and feel your pain. We love seeing you become little people from being just ugly monkeys when you were born.


Stay happy. It really is a lot simpler than what most people think. Be kind and generous - with what you have and, even more importantly, with your time.

Smile - a lot! Cry when you feel like - it will make your heart feel that much lighter. Help others - every chance you get - whatever way you can. Just the other day, my darling Cub you told me, you helped Ishaan and his mother by holding the lift door open while they struggled to get his cycle in. I pray such actions come naturally to both of you - always.


Read baby, READ! There is no greater joy in this world than reading a good book. Read bad ones too, so that you can know the difference. Books take you to so many new places and let you learn so many new things. They entertain you, make you laugh and cry and ponder and have different points of view. Buy books, join a library and gift the ones you love every now and then.


Write too. A journal or a diary or a blog like this. I never did have the patience when young, but I have been really enjoying jotting down things about you guys. I am sure you will enjoy reading about childhood through my eyes once you are older. You do not even have to be brilliant with words. It is just a way to look back, see how far you have come and smile! :)


Dance! Two left feet, two right feet or you dance like a dream. There is something fabulously invigorating and liberating about dance. If you want to learn it, go on and do that. Does not matter whether it is something classical or dhinchak Bollywood. Even if you don't know how to, always get up and dance! :)


Make friends and keep them. Meet them as often as you can. Ones you cannot, try and keep in touch with them. Phone calls, letter, emails and whatever else is there by the time you grow up. Let me also tell you that not all of them will respond and you will wonder why? Possibly even feel a little hurt. Just understand that some people may have different priorities and it is not always personal. I am terrible at this and you should really learn from your father. He is SUCH a people person and a genuinely good friend! :)


While on topic of friends, surround yourself by people who make you feel good about yourself. By that, I obviously don't mean a bunch of Yes Wo/men. They might tell you off when they feel you have been wrong, but never ever make you think any less of yourself. It is such a waste of time to surround yourself with negative people who pull you down at every given chance.


Family cannot be chosen, but it is important. You will meet all sorts in your life and our families are our first initiation into everything nice and weird! :p Love them and let them love you in their own way. It will not always be easy, and yet there is nothing quite like it! :)


Repeat after me:  Love = Respect. Actually, no relationship is worth it if there is no respect in it. Always be polite. Say your thank you and sorry freely. It does not matter what age group or social status they belong to, no rudeness. EVER!


I wish I had the patience to write some more right now! (Hint: Next letter might start with "learn to be patient"!)


For now, you kids stay good, whine a little less and eat better, will ya?!



All my love

Mamma

sometimes we are sooo sleepy

that we sleep midway between trying to get off the bed to stop Mamma from going to the bathroom! :p

or we find even the mother's bony knees and ankle comfortable! :)

some things you will get to see

on some days in The Cub and The Bub household and around!

we open our little shoe shops! ;)

and then lie down after putting in all that hardwork! ;)

Sometimes the older child needs to be fed...

while the younger one insists on eating by herself!

and shares a glass of cold coffee to boot! :P