Showing posts with label raising feminists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label raising feminists. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

So why aren't you a feminist?

“Feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings.” 
― Cheris Kramarae

This has to be favourite quote about feminism. I am yet to see a word and movement more misunderstood. One could actually call this the dreaded 'F' word. But you know what? Eff that! ;)

So what does feminism mean to me?

“A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.” 
― Gloria Steinem

It means equality. For both genders. It gives men the chance to explore beyond their society defined role of hunter and provider and experience nurturing and freedom to be sentimental. A world where it is normal for people to shed a few tears when they are sad irrespective of their gender and to laugh out loud is not considered bad manners for one of the genders. A society where what we enjoy doing is NOT defined by our gender and what is expected of it by society at large.

Feminism to me is opening the all the doors available to men be open to women too. Be it education, professions, art, sports or just the simple ability to loiter at whatever time and place. It means that a place and action that is safe for men, be safe for women too.

Feminism is our right to our bodies. It is about having easy and affordable access to birth control. Of having a right to be pro-choice and to not be treated like criminal for making that decision. It is  the ability to wear what we choose. Can you imagine this even being discussed as an issue for men where as world over policing women's bodies and choices is a national obsession. In a developed country like the US, states are still talking about making abortion illegal! I cannot being myself to imagine how is it anybody else's business in THIS day and age? It is easier to buy a gun and shoot people than get an abortion.

“There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."(Keynote speech at Celebrating Inspiration luncheon with the WNBA's All-Decade Team, 2006)” 
― Madeleine K. Albright

Feminism is NOT man hating and I sometimes honestly want to shake people who keep spouting such nonsense just to put down the whole movement. Ever so often among those are women too and I want to bang my head against the wall and give up hope. How do these women who enjoy EVERY SINGLE benefit of the movement reject being identified by it?

Feminism is NOT indulging in victim blaming and shaming. It is about not attributing the rape to what the woman wore, where she was at what time and claiming 'she was asking for it.' That is of course if you choose to believe her in the first place. Most sexual harassment victims at workplaces don't speak up because THEIR OWN career suffers rather than their perpetrator's.

“What’s the worst possible thing you can call a woman? Don’t hold back, now.
You’re probably thinking of words like slut, whore, bitch, cunt (I told you not to hold back!), skank.
Okay, now, what are the worst things you can call a guy? Fag, girl, bitch, pussy. I’ve even heard the term “mangina.”
Notice anything? The worst thing you can call a girl is a girl. The worst thing you can call a guy is a girl. Being a woman is the ultimate insult. Now tell me that’s not royally fucked up.” 

― Jessica ValentiFull Frontal Feminism

Feminism is when 'like a girl' stops being an insult and 'my daughter, you know, is like a son to me' stops being a compliment. So, if you ever heard someone say "Don't cry like a girl!' and didn't get offended, you should. Stop putting us up on high moral grounds of being Goddesses and martyrs and then treat us like shit and not allow us our humanity.

“It's not my responsibility to be beautiful. I'm not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.” ― Warsan Shire

Feminism is fighting against the pink and blue division of children - where girls don't build things and drive fast cars and boys don't cook and take care of babies. It is about the constant messages that say girls should be pretty and calm and sweet and that boys will be boys. It is about having strong female role models and not princesses waiting to be rescued by their prince charming. It is about fighting the notion that a woman's worth is decided by how she looks and man's by how much he earns.

We are still fighting this battle on a daily basis - be it arming ourselves with umbrellas in crowded spaces to avoid being touched, have our bottoms pinched and breasts squeezed or trying to be heard in the boardroom that is usually majority men who love writing off our every success as being attributed to 'sleeping our way to do the top.' Writing off our opinions because we are too emotional is also a common tactic. We are fighting it when we cannot get education we want or when something as natural and common as menstruation is treated as dirty and used to keep us away from things using age old excuses of lack of hygiene and let's not forget the pseudo scientific reasons like we are stronger than God himself during 'those' days!

We are not fighting against men. WE are fighting against a system that allowed us to be treated as second class citizens. Feminism is a fight FOR men and women and men can be feminists too. We just need to catch them all young. To talk them about the history and what we hope for the future.

I don't think I can do justice to this topic in one blog post. Each of these points and many more have to be posts in themselves. But it is something very close to my heart and as I see my kids growing up in this world, still SO unfair, I cannot help but feel frustrated and wonder if things will change even in their lifetime. But one must continue the good fight, one small step at a time.

We need to understand ourselves and teach our kids, boy and girls, that gender is simply what is between their legs and not between their ears.