Dearest Cub and Bub,
You mother has been quiet for a long time and while you poor things keep getting an earful from me pretty much everyday, I haven't spouted some gyaan in this space. So, might as well, eh?
You know what I have been noticing the most these days is sheer lack of courtesy in every sphere of life. My biggest peeve at times being simple Elevator manners. Yes, seemingly simple - 'Let people getting off, well, get off first and then get in. The elevator WILL wait. Yes, really! Folks seem to not even notice little kids while they push past as if, it is the last ride ever.
Point is, courtesy in underrated and I want both of you to know it and remember - at all times! I think it is better to over-do the Thank-you than not enough. People might say you are being formal and that it is not necessary, but good manners ARE a necessity. Keep at it!
Then there is something called Personal Space which isn't always physical. Indians by nature are curious about other people's lives and we don't think about how personal and intrusive our questions can be. So try and learn that there are some questions that you do not ask people or some comments you do not make. Especially people you don't know too well and vice versa.
Do not comment on people's weight! Ever! Whether they are too fat, too thin or have gone from being fat to thin or thin to fat. It is extremely rude to say the least. In the same vein, never ask a woman if she is pregnant. If she is, she will tell you when she thinks the time is right or never at all, but imagine that she is NOT preggers and you ask that question! Definite no go! :)
Same way, no commenting on skin colour or hair or any another physical characteristic in a person. Let's just say the thumb rule is, 'If you do not have anything nice to say, stay quiet'. There is no need to shoot our mouths all the time, is there?
Another invader of personal space set of questions is related to marriage and kids. It really is none of your business as to why someone chose to Not marry or Not have kids or chose to marry someone you think is not right or have one too many kids than you think is ok! :) It is annoying to the person in question o be interrogated for his / her personal choices and rude on your part to ask them.
Also uncool to ask someone how much they earn or tell how much you do.
Life is tough for a lot of folks and we won't know why they are the way they are till we walk many miles in their shoes. There are always things we will not know. I am not saying you cannot discuss these things with your close friends, but only if they are ok with it. But you definitely do not want to ask these questions to a casual acquaintance, a random relative or your colleagues. I have been guilty of some of these, but I have now learnt to not to indulge in these faux-pas as far as possible. At least not intentionally! :)
So there, that is it for today! I will be back when I think of something else to chew your ears about! :)
Love ya both! Lots!
ps: you can read the previous letters here, here and here
You mother has been quiet for a long time and while you poor things keep getting an earful from me pretty much everyday, I haven't spouted some gyaan in this space. So, might as well, eh?
You know what I have been noticing the most these days is sheer lack of courtesy in every sphere of life. My biggest peeve at times being simple Elevator manners. Yes, seemingly simple - 'Let people getting off, well, get off first and then get in. The elevator WILL wait. Yes, really! Folks seem to not even notice little kids while they push past as if, it is the last ride ever.
Point is, courtesy in underrated and I want both of you to know it and remember - at all times! I think it is better to over-do the Thank-you than not enough. People might say you are being formal and that it is not necessary, but good manners ARE a necessity. Keep at it!
Then there is something called Personal Space which isn't always physical. Indians by nature are curious about other people's lives and we don't think about how personal and intrusive our questions can be. So try and learn that there are some questions that you do not ask people or some comments you do not make. Especially people you don't know too well and vice versa.
Do not comment on people's weight! Ever! Whether they are too fat, too thin or have gone from being fat to thin or thin to fat. It is extremely rude to say the least. In the same vein, never ask a woman if she is pregnant. If she is, she will tell you when she thinks the time is right or never at all, but imagine that she is NOT preggers and you ask that question! Definite no go! :)
Same way, no commenting on skin colour or hair or any another physical characteristic in a person. Let's just say the thumb rule is, 'If you do not have anything nice to say, stay quiet'. There is no need to shoot our mouths all the time, is there?
Another invader of personal space set of questions is related to marriage and kids. It really is none of your business as to why someone chose to Not marry or Not have kids or chose to marry someone you think is not right or have one too many kids than you think is ok! :) It is annoying to the person in question o be interrogated for his / her personal choices and rude on your part to ask them.
Also uncool to ask someone how much they earn or tell how much you do.
Life is tough for a lot of folks and we won't know why they are the way they are till we walk many miles in their shoes. There are always things we will not know. I am not saying you cannot discuss these things with your close friends, but only if they are ok with it. But you definitely do not want to ask these questions to a casual acquaintance, a random relative or your colleagues. I have been guilty of some of these, but I have now learnt to not to indulge in these faux-pas as far as possible. At least not intentionally! :)
So there, that is it for today! I will be back when I think of something else to chew your ears about! :)
Love ya both! Lots!
ps: you can read the previous letters here, here and here
9 comments:
So totally with u on all of them :)
Been so long that even I heard such sensible gyaan. Must find a way to indulge in that American invention someday soon, now that everything else we do is courtesy the American way of life anyway. A "Date Night" is what we need :-)
Totally. Loved each of them.
Apt gyaan. I am thinking of printing your letters and gifting my kids. Why make the same effort again ;-)
Totally Totally agree on every single point!! I shall bookmark this to show/read out/discuss with the kid. We have talked about most of these in words that he understands. But I feel that age appropriate talking about these and other good manners is needed every few months. Will hop over to read the other letters!
Loved this list Abha.. especially the first one is something I feel so very strongly about as well! Definitely a blog post I would want my kids to read and learn about as well :).
Spot on! Bookmarked for sure!
OMG!!!Abby,Spot on!!! I was nodding from start to finish.. I so want to hug you right now!!! And M is right.. you guys should totally have a "date night"...
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