55-er or some such attempt! :)

The day before their wedding, their eyes met as they sat amidst a room full of people.

She felt a shiver run down her spine.

She hoped it was love. She did.

And yet, what if…?

Almost  ten years later, she can safely say her hopes never let her down.

Amen. Touchwood. Antijinx. Kala Teeka.

two years plus one of joy

Yes! The Bub turned TWO last month and it is time I did her birthday post, no?! (and what you read below has been in my drafts for a year! bwaaaaaahhh!)

Anyway, I realized I did not remember most of this stuff, so I must retain it and add some more here itself, lest the three year old post stays in drafts till she turns 4! You get the drift. don't you? Hence the title 2 + 1!


The Bub turned two between Diwali days and was surrounded by her grandparents and then some more grandparents. We will save the big birthday party with frills and themes for next year, but that does not mean the little party we had for her was any less. It was with people who love her the most and it was really big on blessings and fun! :)


So what is (was) The Bub upto these (those) days?! :)


Well if it is possible, she is even naughtier and cuter! Her million dollar smile is still as priceless - a paradox, yes! :) Her eyes shine and her body language is utterly adorable! Add to that a very sharp mind, you have a killer combination - really.


She is talking nineteen to a dozen - to put it mildly. There are sentences galore. All of them pretty clear. She is learning new words and ways of using them every single day. She repeats everything we say exactly the way we do and That is scary. It is hilarious to hear hear say "Kabbiiirr - aa jao. Mumma boola rahi!"


Oh yeah she has a Hyderabadi style of Hindi thanks to the Amma who takes care of her. So everything is "aa rahi - jaa rahi, isku, usku" and such. She has just learnt to say her name properly and even now when in rush calls her "Alla". So everthing used to be "Alla-ku de do / Alla-ku hai / Alla-ku chahiye!" Any time you asked her what her name is she would confidently say Alla! :D As of now she breaks her name into three syllables and enunciates each one saying Al- Vi - Rrraaaa!


She still loves her junk food and her morning starts with demands for chottets and biscuits. I have now consciously cut  down on giving her that stuff even more. She does cry the house down, but she should get used to it soon enough! Thankfully both kids love fruits, so we try and move them in that direction whenever there are fruits in the ghar.


She now enjoys the little park in the colony even more. She likes the slide, see-saw and swing and spends least an hour down there pretty much everyday. She is still quite lazy and you will not see her run around a lot etc. She is super excited the moment she is ready and says happy bye to everyone available in the house at that moment! :D


She is now singing typical nursery rhymes in her own way - eating up half the words and yet so sweet that you cannot help but smile - every single time. She loves to sing Humpty Dumpty, Baa Baa Black Sheep, Five Little Fishes and Horsey Horsey dont you stop. I have been lazy and have barely read to her, so she does not really have any favourite books except a few board books that she loves looking at. I hope to make up for it soon enough! :)



And now for the past one year - The Bub turns 3 version! :D


What do I say about the Bub? You can call her the female version of l'il Krishna! That seems to be the only way I can describe the mix of cute, naughty, natkhat, adorable, chaalu and smart - all rolled into one! Like our BFF Meds says, she is 'chaalu maal!'


Just the other day she got chocolate at school. She got into car with M and he told her she could eat the chocolate only after she got home. When he turned to look at her a few mins later, she already had the goddamn thing in her mouth! Her response? "Papa, woh apne aap khul gaya tha issliye maine khaa liya!" Gah!!


The girl can seriously talk your head off! If you don't have time or inclination to listen to her, she will pretend talk on the phone! Not that she even needs a fake phone on her ears. She sings her rhymes gorgeously! MUCH MUCH fun to listen to. She has finally learned colours (we were seriously wondering if she is colour blind!:p) I know it's no biggie that a three year old knows her colours, but you have to know that we have taught her zilch at home! All the enthu teaching got done with Cub. Let's just say school ke paise vasool ho rahe hai! :p


She absolutely adores her school and according to her teacher tries to mother every child who might be even a month younger or a centimeter shorter! :) She looks forward to going there every morning and seems to be have a fabulous time. She gets sent to the naughty corner every now and then - a drastic change from Cub who is obedience personified - at least at school.


The girl has a TEMPER! Yes! That bad! Sigh! Every little thing can have her flying into a rage and try and throw half the house wherever she pleases. Am hoping it's a phase. She also refuses to talk, goes into a different room and lies down on the bed and all that jazz. Effectively, a complete Drama Queen if you have ever seen one!


She is extremely observant and at a stage where she wants to question everything. Mostly Kyon or Why? It can be extremely painful at times, I can assure you that.


The love affair with junk continues. Thankfully, rules are being followed better in general, so we have cut down on the amount of crap she would insist on eating. She also likes fruits - papaya, guava, chikkoo, banana etc are had regularly. When I remember to cut, there is cucumber and a bit of raw carrot as well as salad. So, we are getting there. She doesn't bother too much to eat except that she cannot sit in one place and eat.


The Bub and her friends recently performed a couple of action songs for the Ganapati celebrations in the colony. She kept whining that she won't dance on the stage. But when she did get on it, she was a complete diva. All of them were. At night M told her to perform again on the bed before they slept to which the brat replies, "Main sirf stage pe dance karta hoon!" Of course at Onam celebs, she started off well and then just clammed up and refused o move OR smile! Oh well! :)


She bullies Cub mercilessly and calls him Kabir, bhaiyya, Kabir bhaiyya or Kabbu! :p She also sings O! Kabira maan jaa to him and giggles getting the joke quite well. Yes, must say that the girl has a sense of humour and catches on pretty quickly making being with her a whole lot of fun and then some more. She knows when she is pushing the boundaries and tries to get away with as much as she can with her wicked smile and evil brain. M keep saying that every time she enters the room, the song 'naayak nahi khalnaayak hoon main!" should play in the background. But then M is prone to exaggerations. Or maybe not! :p


She is still my 'poochh' or tail as they call it in angrezi. She follows me around everywhere and every bathroom break of mine is closely monitored with questions about what I am doing and how long would I take. When sleepy or tired, she does not even recognize M, who keeps telling her that he has a birth certificate to prove that he is indeed her father and would like to comfort her! Hehe!


That said, she needs no one when around her BFF Pakhi and their friendship still goes strong! She also has a couple of homes more now where she is comfortable enough to go without me.


My mom calls her 'aanandaache zaad' which would loosely translate as 'fountain of happiness' and we would have to agree with her! :) And I think that should be the right thing to end the post with.


Happy Birthday darling Bub! 


May the spring in your step stay forever, may your laughter stay as unbridled, may your smile light up your days and those of everyone around me, may you learn to let go of fears and to go beyond them, may your life be filled with friends and family and every joy possible! You have no idea how MUCH happiness and fun you have brought to our lives! Shine on, our love, brighter and forever!


Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! :)

The Cub turned 6 in The Space! :)

The Cub turned six in July and had said he would like a Space Themed party this year. We are nothing but obliging (if only once a year) and we tried to do the best we could with everything we knew, google baba knew and was even remotely related to our skills! Or more like lack of them!

The beginnings of madness! Cartons, scales, scissors and patience! :)

One thing you guys should know is that I am the idea girl and M is the doer! So, if he is busy, I am nothing but a bunch of ideas, but no idea about how to bring them to fruition! :p I also get bored, if I don't have his company to do this kind of stuff. You know misery loves company and all that jazz? Just kidding! Well, almost.

The bare-bones structure is ready! :D

So, the ambitious plan this time was to make a rocket using them old packaging cartons lying around at home thanks to very many moves in very many years, some decoration in form of aliens, spaceships and the solar system, some food, some games and far too many kids!

The prettyfying process begins!

The father-son duo got around to making the rocket / space shuttle couple of weekends in advance and boy! that was some hard work. Lot of things seem simple on the internet, but not so easy when you get down to it. Still, the decision was made and we all plowed through to make it work.

The Final look. Cub posing with his jet-pack on! :)

The toughest part was getting the different parts to stay put! And then the well meaning help from the kids! :p Actually THAT was the toughest part. There were fights and screaming matches and tears at times, but mostly it was fun!

Flipkart packaging, some silver ribbon, two pet bottles with aluminium paints and some marble paper shredded to look like fire! 

We used it the final rocket as a prop and got all kids to take their pic wearing it! We also found an easy idea to make a 'jet pack' with used 1litre soft drink bottles and some marble paper. It looked really cool and most kids loved it.

The name bunting and an alien!

M cut this out and Cub spray painted it with an old tooth brush!

Alien No.3 with very many eyes!

We made a bunting with Cub's name with moon and star shapes as decor and some verrry cool aliens made by M and Cub. There were also paper plate spaceships hung from fans and ceiling.

The paper plate and paper cup spaceship

By the time we were done with the theme based decor, we had to energy to get food that went with the space theme. I really wanted to make some green jelly, but somehow that never panned out. The easiest and only thing on our menu that had something to do with space was Chocos - Moons and Stars! :D

The return gift bags made with newspaper with a little paper on top saying 'Save Planet Earth! It's the only one with Chocolates! Stuck chocolates on them! :)

There were yet again lots of kids (this is the last year, I tell ya!) and the games we thought of, we could not really pull off as smoothly as we would have liked. Oh well! One lives and learns! :)


Return gifts as much as I hate them, were the glow in dark space stickers that one can stick on the ceiling. Cub has them in his room and we all love them. So, it seemed to make sense.

The siblings in their matchy tees and grins! kala teeka! :)

Oh and I must talk about matching tee I got made from Sandhya of Masala Popsicles. I just told her I want sun, moon, stars and everything space and she came up with the design, printed em and handed them over to me in time! Absolutely delightful!


The decoration was up for almost a month! Arre itta effort liya tha, woh ek din mein waste thodi naa karenge? :)


All in all, it was a fun party! Cub and Bub played with the rocket till it was in tatters and the jet pack was played with as well. So, nothing really was a waste even thought everything was created out of the waste! :)

Oh and I must make a note of what the invite said! This was the first time we made invites actually. We folded the papers in rocket shapes and wrote the info on the inside. The top said Come Fly to The Moon. On the other side it said Open To Find Out how! Inside it had this silly rhyme I came up with!

Meteors and Rockets
Aliens from other planets
Astronauts, Sun and Moon
The Space is all around is - morning, night or noon!

Come join Kabir for his fun space party as he turns 6!

What?! Everyone cannot be good at this stuff, can they?! :D

Ps: Must mention that the party would have been impossible without help from my friends in the colony. Thank you laydeez! You know who you are!! :D

And now for a little birthday note.


Darling Cub,

This year has been a mixed bag! You have blossomed into a much more confident child, even though we still have some way to go. You have been getting better and better at this whole public speaking gig. We look at the little boy on stage in wonder and think when did you grow so big? :) It is all very bitter-sweet! You have finally discovered the joys of reading a book. I have Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to thank for it. I don't even think you understood everything, but the excitement of what will happen next along with the laalach of getting to watch the movie based on the book, kept you hooked!


Now there is no looking back, is there? Of course reading is not your first choice of distraction, but I am happy it is one of the options! So high-five for that! :) We have gotten you a library membership and I hope we will make good use of it!

You have your own set of friends at school and in the colony. You are a good friend! :) Yes, you are also a tad too sensitive, just like your mother, and prone to crying ever so often. You and me, we aren't very good with confrontations and yet I don't know how to help you with it. Let's hope we will figure out a way!


You are a fabulous fabulous older brother to the Bub! She is extremely lucky to have you in her life and I hope you guys will grow closer as the years pass by.


I am also very proud of how creative you are! We went for your little cousin Arzoo's first birthday and you had absolutely no company of your age. You found a big blade of grass and then I saw you play with just that for such a long time - coming up with god knows how many stories and uses for that one little thing! That day you refused to throw away the Flipkart packaging that came with Your books! Before I knew it, Papa and you had made a stunning Iron Man mask and a part of his suit out of it and it was mainly YOUR work! :)

M drew the outlines and cut it out for him while he did all this awesome colouring! :)

We have been having some discipline issues or shall i say communication issues. I am trying hard to rein in my temper with not much success till now. We are at loggerheads ever so often and I really do not enjoy it one bit. Let's work on it this year and try and make it better for both of us, eh?! :)


In all the daily fights, I often forget just how amazing you are! I am sorry for that. I hope I am not on my way to sending you to a shrink. Sigh! Stay good, my love! You are quite perfect really!


I know this post is late, but here's wishing you a year full of laughter, joy, happiness, creativity, imagination, books, toys, outings, family, friends and everything else your heart desires! Love ya lots! And pots! 

you better read this letter 4

Dearest Cub and Bub,


You mother has been quiet for a long time and while you poor things keep getting an earful from me pretty much everyday, I haven't spouted some gyaan in this space. So, might as well, eh?


You know what I have been noticing the most these days is sheer lack of courtesy in every sphere of life. My biggest peeve at times being simple Elevator manners. Yes, seemingly simple - 'Let people getting off, well, get off first and then get in. The elevator WILL wait. Yes, really! Folks seem to not even notice little kids while they push past as if, it is the last ride ever.


Point is, courtesy in underrated and I want both of you to know it and remember - at all times! I think it is better to over-do the Thank-you than not enough. People might say you are being formal and that it is not necessary, but good manners ARE a necessity. Keep at it!


Then there is something called Personal Space which isn't always physical. Indians by nature are curious about other people's lives and we don't think about how personal and intrusive our questions can be. So try and learn that there are some questions that you do not ask people or some comments you do not make. Especially people you don't know too well and vice versa.


Do not comment on people's weight! Ever! Whether they are too fat, too thin or have gone from being fat to thin or thin to fat. It is extremely rude to say the least. In the same vein, never ask a woman if she is pregnant. If she is, she will tell you when she thinks the time is right or never at all, but imagine that she is NOT preggers and you ask that question! Definite no go! :)


Same way, no commenting on skin colour or hair or any another physical characteristic in a person. Let's just say the thumb rule is, 'If you do not have anything nice to say, stay quiet'. There is no need to shoot our mouths all the time, is there?


Another invader of personal space set of questions is related to marriage and kids. It really is none of your business as to why someone chose to Not marry or Not have kids or chose to marry someone you think is not right or have one too many kids than you think is ok! :) It is annoying to the person in question o be interrogated for his / her personal choices and rude on your part to ask them.


Also uncool to ask someone how much they earn or tell how much you do.


Life is tough for a lot of folks and we won't know why they are the way they are till we walk many miles in their shoes. There are always things we will not know. I am not saying you cannot discuss these things with your close friends, but only if they are ok with it. But you definitely do not want to ask these questions to a casual acquaintance, a random relative or your colleagues. I have been guilty of some of these, but I have now learnt to not to indulge in these faux-pas as far as possible. At least not intentionally! :)


So there, that is it for today! I will be back when I think of something else to chew your ears about! :)

Love ya both! Lots!


ps: you can read the previous letters here, here and here

a quickie of Milestone alert type! :)

Important milestones for both Cub and Bub.


Cub is now officially out of kindergarten and a primary school student! Yes, the little baby Bumpy is now in 1st grade. Sometimes, even I find it hard to believe. He is losing last vestiges of babyness and at time it is heartbreaking! He now goes to school the entire day and comes back excited and tired. They have to copy down their own homework in diaries now and there are multiple subjects! Language, Maths, Social Science, Literature and Hindi. There are pages of homework that come in a dreaded blue file, but least the school tries to make them sheets interesting, fun and practical. I still cannot get over the sudden jump in the quantum of learning just one year on. Sigh! He seems to be doing fine as of now, so should be ok.


Cub can read quite fluently by now, but is yet to show any inclination to read by himself. He still loves being read to, so I do that as often as I can. He now reads the menu at restaurants and orders for himself. He can tell the time for a while now, though can sometimes get confused post the 40mins mark. He is lazy just like me and I wish we could do a gene replacement surgery! :p


He was super worried about his lunch at school. He asked me one night before school re-opened if I had bought lunch coupons from school. I told him that I will pack him lunch from home everyday. He was a little shocked at the prospect and then very thoughtfully told me, "Mamma! I think you should cook previous night only and then heat the food in microwave and give it to me. See! Till senior kg there was only dabba and it was easy, but now it will take more time!"


Now lets not judge the mother's cooking or time management skills, though I am must agree he is not off the mark at all! :p


The Bub started her school as well! :) We found a lovely little school close to home for her thanks to a Facebook question (which was M's idea). It is cosy and personal and being run by some really nice women! :) It has been two weeks now and she seems to have finally settled down. She indulges in token protest every morning, but is not crying her eyes out. All she does currently is take aata (dough) and keep rolling out chapatis. Like my parents said, chances are she will learn to make then before I do! (I must write about my chapatis some day!:p)


She has changed and grown up so much in past few months. She can really talk your ears off. She is also stubborn and naughty in equal measure and it is not always a great combo to have. She is still her mamma's girl, but has stopped not recognizing the father least. She conveniently blames Cub for any mischief she has indulged in. She also gives Cub a rousing welcome home every single afternoon and it is lovely to watch them together! (we will talk about the fights some other day!)


Here they are on day one of school! Bright eyed and bushy tailed! (The struggle to wake Cub up began from day 2! hehe!) And I need to finish this post and sleep, lest it again goes into drafts to never see light of the day!

Mannu bhai Motor chali pum pum pum! :)

I will not even say how I plan to write regularly etc. Obviously it is a gheesa tape by now with no meaning whatsoever. So let me just cut the chase and tell you what I want to save here for posterity. For a change it is about me and not the kids. What? I WILL write about the kids soon. Really! :)


So, we are well on our way to being a woman experienced at being in her 30's. There is a lot things that I did and so many more that I want to do. My bucket list if you will. Bungee jumping, visiting Disneyland and learning to swim are yet to be managed, but I have finally managed to learn how to DRIVE! Yyaayyy! :)


Having grown up in Bombay, with no obvious need for a car, we never owned one and by that simple fact never learned to drive one. My parents with their infinite foresight that I could not have imagined then, bought me a two-wheeler. Not that one needed that either, what with the trains, buses, taxis and ricks being easily easily available and all that. My folks thought that it would improve my non-existent sense of direction. It did not help on that count, but it did help me get a road sense and made my life so much simpler and richer once I moved to Bangalore post marriage. M had a two-wheeler and since I had a sales job that needed me to travel a fair bit around the city, I was soon riding along all over the city.


If you have lived in Bangalore, you know it is not an easy task to survive without a vehicle of your own. The autorickshaws are a pain in all possible wrong places. They are rude and cheats. Most of them. Buses have extremely random routes which take forever (though that has improved quite a bit now). So, the fact that I could ride a two-wheeler was such a huge blessing.


Life moved along fine with our trusty Dio. We bought a second hand Maruti 800 after a few years. M learned to drive. I went to a driving school. Had a weird old instructor who would hit us with a wooden scale if we made a mistake. Do not ask me why I didn't just holler or complain. He was just so old and grandpa like that I could not. Oh well! Anyway, after finishing the training thing, getting a license and putting up a L board, I tried to drive. I did too a few times, but not enough to get comfortable with it it. Then I was expecting the Cub and everyone talked about not taking unnecessary risks etc and my driving took a back seat. For a long time.


Then a good friend decided to learn and insisted I did too. So, off we went again. This time to the Maruti Driving School (the one run by the company and not the one just named Maruti!) This one was done by Pratham Motors, one of their dealers. We both have sorta big cars at home, so we decided to learn on the Swift D'zire. The instructors were much better and we got comfortable behind the wheel pretty quick.


Of course, it is one thing to drive with the instructor knowing fully well that they have controls under their feet as well, and quite another to drive your own car with mortal fear of denting your car or even worse killing someone.

A wise friend told me that the trick to actually driving on the roads is to driving every single day for atleast a month. So with M by my side, I was finally driving our Punto! We had our screaming matches and we still do every now and then! :p


We managed to get decent amount of practice done before M was to leave for the US for a month. And what a blessing that was. I could take kids out over the weekend. Go out with friends and do my grocery shopping without worrying about how will I carry everything on the bike.


More than anything else, it was the kick of having learned something new. To have been able to achieve what you could not previously. To see the pride in M's and Cub and Bub's eyes.


I still do not drive very well or anything. There are jhatkas and bumps, but nothing bad enough to stop me from driving, though the lazy me would now rather do it only when i HAVE to! ;)


Here's a picture to go! :)

a letter to my son (aka you better read this letter 3)

The news of a girl being gang raped in Delhi in a bus and then pushed off it along with her friend has disturbed everyone to no end and I am no exception to it. And this is not a one off incident happening in one city of our country either. We all keep wondering what can we do to make things better and of course there is no single answer.


There is the need for extremely stringent punishment obviously! (but what is obvious to us, is not to the Powers in question! sigh!) There is a need for more safety all around for women. But what we need most are sons who are bought up better. Honestly, to me, that seems like the biggest problem that needs to be tackled. In a country where Boys are considered 'better' than Girls, where patriarchal attitudes are an accepted norm, more and more men seem to have trouble understanding and accepting that women DO have a mind AND will of their own that goes beyond pleasing men.


So here is attempt at drilling some sense in to my son! I hope that he will be a gentleman around all women - all the time!


Dearest Cub,


A woman is NOBODY's property. Irrespective of what our society makes us believe. I hope by the time you grow up an application form that a woman needs to fill will NOT have Father / Husband's name as a mandatory field. But till that happens or does not ever happen, remember that a woman is as much her own person as a man is. Right?! Right! :)


There is nothing that is only a man's or only a woman's job. No work can be decided by gender roles. Both the Bub and you will learn similar things at home. Be it cooking or changing the light bulb. (I cannot, but then I am sure I will be able to if I have to. Just like I CAN pick up the 20ltr water cans when I have no choice!:p). Men change diapers and women drive.


There is nothing wrong in being chivalrous. It is charming really. But do not expect every woman to want it or even like it. Cherish and respect the independence of women around you and you will be one lucky guy. So be ready to split the bills at the restaurant and get laughed at for opening the door! :) That said, charm is never wasted, especially when it is genuine! :)


When a woman says NO, she means NO! I know you will see enough ridiculous movies and read enough silly books that tell you otherwise. That say that when a woman says No, she actually means Yes! There is nothing farther from the truth. She might change her mind over a period of time. Or she might not. Whatever it is, please to note that it is HER call to make and your responsibility to accept it.


Never take advantage of a woman who is either sad, on a rebound or drunk. No actually make that NEVER take advantage of a woman in any situation. Always be kind and helpful. Ok?!


Do not glorify women to be perfect mothers, wives and daughters. They have had quite enough of that. Understand and accept that a woman has as many grey shades in her life as a man. They are as susceptible to frustrations and highs as you are. And yes, they think about sex as much. So try not to be shocked. Oh! and need I say do not objectify them either!


Repeat after me ad-infinitum - A woman NEVER ASKS for it! It does not matter what she wears, where she is and what time it was. So do not fall into the trap of blaming the victim. It is our collective responsibility as a society to ensure her safety and first step is having more awesome men like you around! :)


Be happy if someday your wife / girlfriend earns more than you! :) There is no reason to be insecure just because traditionally it is the man's job to earn the bread. Or do not get upset if your super educated partner chooses to stay at home to raise your children instead of winning accolades in her field of expertise. The most important tenet of Feminism is 'choice'. You will remember that I am sure.


There are so many raging feminist issues now which I hope by the time you are older will have reduced greatly. I mean surely we still won't be discussing of a woman should take her husband's surname or stick to her maiden name? It will be quite de rigeur. And the word 'dowry' will not exist! 


There are so many things still on my mind which I do not know how to put on paper. Hopefully you will watch and learn. The good things that is. The important thing to remember that an individual is an individual and the gender really has nothing to do with it. It is as pointless as religion is, but that is for another day, eh?!


Love ya lots
Mamma

ps: you can find the previous two letters here and here.